This week’s theme is short stories of life in a dollhouse…here is my version that didn’t get quite so short…I’ll continue this…it’s fun! I was pressed for time as my life is hectic but (sorry for any typos), I hope you enjoy:
Logan opens his eyes…a plastic ceiling greets his view. He turns his head to see…Barbie?…lying beside him.
“What the fuck?” he grumbles.
He turns to see there is no wall…just the huge face what appears to be the largest human girl he has ever seen.
He jumps out of bed; his adamantium claws already out and ready for battle.
“No sir, Wolverine! That’s not nice!” the gigantic girl says. Her voice is like rolling thunder…well, high pitched thunder. She extends her hand towards him and he slashes at her finger to find it does no damage.
“What the fuck?!” he exclaims.
“Ah! You said the f-word!” her thunderous girlie voice rumbles through the plastic Barbie house. “I’m telling Mom that Johnny taught you bad words,” she says as she picks Wolverine off the plastic floor.
Logan thrashes but to no avail. The gigantic child is impervious to any harm, and he is powerless against her.
“I borrowed you from him after he took Ken and blew him up. He said he was trying to disarm a bomb from Cobra Commander…Ken is a surfer not a bomb technician! Anyway, a bottle rocket is not an IDE…or what ever Johnny said it was! Ken never had a chance! He just hovered over the grass before…POW!”
Tears well up in her eyes and Logan’s only thoughts are, “What the fuck?!”
“Ken was so handsome. Barbie really loved him and Johnny took him from her. So now you are her new husband. Don’t worry. There isn’t anyone here named Magnet or Magento, or whoever Johnny said to pull out your Adamantium. Barbie will get used to your beard.”
“What the fuck?!” Logan screams.
“Really Wolverine?! Is that all you know how to say?! Well?! Is it?!”
“What the fuck are you talking about giant bitch girl!” Logan screams as he continues to wrestle against her fingers grasping him tightly.
“Barbie and I will not tolerate that language, sir. You’re supposed to be a gentleman and love her. You’ll buy her nice things like flowers, chocolates, diamond rings, and cars. You don’t ever swear at her or call her fat. Do you understand?! She can be as late as she needs to be. You’re only job is to understand and hug her and call her beautiful,” she says as she reaches for a pair of finger nail clippers. “I’m going to cut these claws of yours off so you can’t hurt Barbie.”
“No the fuck you’re not!” Logan screams.
“Wolverine! You stop cursing! I tell you what, if you promise to never say the f-word again I’ll leave these but, if I hear you talk like that again buddy, they are gone. Do you hear me little man?!”
“Who the f…um…what gives you the right?!”
“I am more powerful than you can possibly comprehend, Wolverine. I am a woman. You just do what I say and everything will be ok, got it?”
“What the f…” the clippers come closer. “Future holds…what the future holds for me and Barbie is happily ever after. That’s what I was going to say,” Logan says.
“Huh uh…I knew you’d see things my way. I have these clothes from Ken’s surfer wardrobe…let’s see if something fits…”
“What the…uh..no. I am a superhero and I wear this hero uniform, bi…uh, what’s your name?”
“My name is Bethany,” she says with a smile.
“Well, Bethany, my name is Logan.”
“Logan?! I thought Johnny said your name is Wolverine.”
“Well, I go by Wolverine, too. My friends call me Logan.”
“Oh! Are you saying we’re friends now?”
“Well, I wouldn’t say friends, really. Decent acquaintances.”
“Well, I don’t know what that means but, it sounds special.”
“Oh, it’s special alright…”
“Well you listen here mister, the only special relationship you’ll have is with Barbie!”
Logan turns a his head and looks at Barbie…a plastic doll lying in a plastic bed. “Uh…listen kid, Bethany…does Barbie just lie there doing nothing?
Cause my last girl friend did that and…, I mean, uh…”
To be continued…
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