Obsessions. Oh boy, I forced myself into a corner there, didn’t I?
If I say all that I want to say, or I have to say, about obsessions, this one will become an essay and well, apart from few selected one (Read all the members of TPIB), no one wants that. Sadly for them, those poor people are stuck with me.
Label it what you want, obsessions, darkness, need for perfection, habits, ticks, the fact will always remain unchanged. We all have these awkward habits that screw with us every day.
Some are pathological obsessives, and for them I still lack the experience to suggest anything. So, sorry, this article isn’t for you. Oh wait, for the less obsessed I do not have any suggestions either. So you’re doomed either way.
Isn’t that the way it is supposed to be?
You are obsessive, so you cannot be normal, you know, the age old dogma. If I count all my obsessions, I’ll be the perfect candidate for human experiments in mental asylums. Rather than counting them out in a bulleted list, so that they are clear for the skimmer, I’ll be my usual self and hint them between the lines.
I don’t know if you know it or not, but I write when I listen to metal. Metallica, Slipknot, Slayer, Megadeth and Opeth, these are the bands, in the aforementioned order, to whom I listen to while I write. Most of the time, I write well when I travel. At least I believe that to be true. I am a horrible writer, considering the norm, but I do love what I write when I travel.
I need chaos to be productive.
And I read, man, I read a lot of crap. Infomercials, technical notes, software guides, shit, I even read the ingredients label on most commercial edible items. The only thing I struggle reading is fiction. Talk about irony. I want to write fiction, but I do not like reading fiction. I read the manuals because, well, I do not like asking others for help.
Maybe that wasn’t such a good example. Shit, I’m self-diagnosing, aren’t I?
What else? I follow a time table, well, sort of a makeshift time table. There is an order, but I do not follow it minute by minute. Its 12:01, I need to shit. No that’s not possible for me.
Argh, in case it wasn’t clear, man I’m a shitty writer, I’ll tell you my schedule. Well, sort of a schedule. But if I do, it will become a long article, so, you know, you’ve been warned or whatever.
I wake up around 6:30-ish, I check out all my emails and I answer to all of them in the next ten minutes. I hate a messy inbox, are you forgetting, I am obsessive. And after going through all the delicacies of early morning hours, I leave my home around 7:30. Should I add –ish again?
OK, by 7:35 I reach the taxi stand, it’s a twenty to thirty minute ride, depending on the traffic, to the metro station. In that period, I write about the weather, what I think about the person sitting next to me, traffic, oh, a lot about traffic, and everything else that I feel motivated enough to write.
7:55, let’s say 8:00, I’m at metro, twenty minute ride to the station where I have to get off, time for some metal. And, in that same period, I extend one of the portions from the notes that I took in the taxi. Twenty minutes, and, if luck is on my side, I end up with a rough draft of some seven to eight hundred words.
I write a lot about my surroundings, so I always have material, or inspiration, to write.
8: 20 to 8:25, again there are variables, I start walking towards the bus stand, it’s roughly ten minute walk. Once I’m inside the bus, it’s a five minute journey. I get off one stand before my destination and then, it’s another ten minute walk. So twenty minute walking. We are done with the morning workout, right?
8:55, let’s give it some grace period, I’m at the café inside the campus, and I order my breakfast. I sit, it takes some ten minutes for the food to come, so we have ten minute time frame to polish our article.
9:30, we are done with the article, if you consider my writing to be article worthy, and we can focus on our professional life. Around 10:45 or 11:00, I go for a coffee break and there we have a ten-fifteen minute grace period to discuss everything under the sun.
Back to work. 1:00, its lunch. And we have our reading period, of course on my smartphone, I cannot read a book and eat, it becomes complicated. An hour or so, we are back in lab. One more coffee break, around 3:45 or 4:00, and the final stretch until 5:00. What? I need coffee, sue me.
30 minute unwinding period, that’s a necessity, or I’ll kill someone, and I leave for home. Roughly, a ninety minute journey, with a period of thirty minute or so, in which I can write and I do, I’m at home.
Shit. I do follow a schedule by minute, don’t I?
Well, it’s about to be damn straight chaos now. From now onwards, there is no order of events, I drink tea, coffee, another coffee, don’t judge me, I’m an addict. And I read, like shitload of reading, of course, not lab related. I never bring my work to my home and vice-versa.
9:00 clock, blog posting, on WordPress, Medium and sketches on Instagram. And check out the articles that I bookmarked previous night.
So, 7:00 to 9:30, I consume a lot of caffeine and I read and post a shitload of crappy material, oh, and, metal. Do not forget metal. Half an hour dinner, and we are ready to write some fiction. And if not fiction, at least some horrible article.
After banging my head against the table, or what we technically call creativity, I type all that I can. Making it pretty comes later. And after an hour or so comes the final unwinding period. I take off my headphones by this point, and look through my hard-disk for movies or TV shows I can watch. An hour of TV, and two or three hours of chatting, I am horribly exhausted.
And bam, no sleep. Shit, I hate you insomnia.
It became too boring and banal, didn’t it? Maybe that is what we call obsession.