I’ve gathered by now I don’t need that kind of introduction every single time but I’m a man of tradition and self deprecation so it’s gonna be part of the repertoire, as always this is gonna be a world away from what I normally write and is basically me talking aloud to myself and anyone paying attention,
There was a part of me that didn’t want to write anything and just link in the following piece, it conveys so much of my own personal experiences in someone else’s words and is just a near perfect piece of writing expression.
Writing Through My Pain – The Perfectly Imperfect Bunch
Overcoming Pain through writing.
It’s seems it might be a common theme between most of us in the ‘bunch’ and a lot of writers/people in general but writing was instrumental in helping me with loss, depression, anxiety and so much more, my WordPress journey started after a breakup mainly down to what I saw as being my last bastion of hope,
The Context of the Journeys beginning.
It was just one of these pivatol moments in our lives when we make choices or decisions based upon a multitude of random factors and events, Mine resulted in me flying off to slovenia for a few days in June this year due to extreme depression and almost uncontrollable suicidal tendencies, I’ve been through a fair bit in my life (we all have our troubles and I know I’ve been privileged in so many ways to have the life that I have and live the lifestyle that I do) and I’ve always managed to come out of these beaten but smiling but this time it was different, I felt like I had nothing else left to give, I’d given every ounce of strength to something to see it crumble ever so slowly in front of me,
So I had basically given myself two choices to take myself away for a few days and find some kind of meaning or continue trying to find a way to put an end to myself in a way that my family and more importantly my son wouldn’t find to be too extreme, it seems even in suicadal thoughts I still wanted to be respectful to any and everyone, This all didn’t come about due to this one event by the way but it was without a doubt a trigger that set off everything I’d repressed for so much time prior,
So I jumped on a plan to Eastern Europe not having a clue what or why I was doing such a thing, But at the airport I just started to write some thoughts on my phone, this ended up being the start of my journey to now, it was just a complete word vomit but it made more sense then anything I’d been able to comprehend before that point in time,
I’ve mentioned previously that I’ve always been writing but this was different to anything I’d ever put to paper before, this was my naked self exposed on a page, it was remarkable how i truly felt I was conversing with myself in a way I’d never been able to before, I didn’t and still don’t hold back on the words I write and it’s this way of writing for me that has helped cleanse my mind of so much anger, resentment and bitterness that I’d spent more time internalising then even I knew I’d been doing,
Thus began what evolved into joining WordPress and talking to members of a community that were not only helpful but understanding, I’d never encountered that before and it’s something I’m very grateful for, I’ll always write for myself but the fact people understood why and what I was myself searching is such a beautiful and beneficial bonus to me and a massive amount of encouragement to keep on pushing forward,
My words have without a doubt changed and evolved a lot over the last few months, it was initially all entailed around heatache and loss as that’s what was the most prevalent in my life, but this process enabled me to understand myself better and deal with these situations and move on with my life, I now find myself digging deeper on occasions and exploring more about who I am, it’s that autobiographical fiction proving to be my knight in shining wordplay,
I’m always gonna have an element of sadness and melancholy to my writing but that’s just part of my thought process and who i am, but there’s always hope in there, sometimes it’s obvious and sometimes it’s hidden but it’s intergral to how I write, without hope I’d never have had the courage to write in the first place it just take that initial step to realise myself that was the case,
I’m hoping I’ve got the point across, I have no idea how to write these things at all, it’s literally the same conversation I’d have with people face to face, my dry, satirical and deprecating sense of humour would more then likely work wonders as the internet has already shown me that it doesn’t work in written form, I don’t feel like I need to specify exactly what I overcame just that it was the process of writing that has changed my life forever,
The pen truly is mightier then the blade,